Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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