Soap is not a condiment
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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