you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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