why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
