you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
