Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
