My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
