At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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