I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
