I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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