dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
