You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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