Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
