Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
