All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
