Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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