she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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