when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Are my feet made of real feet?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
