well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my being single is dangerous.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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