i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
