I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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