It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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