i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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