Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
