What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
