I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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