Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
