I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
