sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I got inside last night via doggy door
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
