She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
