at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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