I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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