I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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