She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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