He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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