i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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