he wants to bone in the snuggie
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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