Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
