I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
