I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
