dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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