I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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