he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize