Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
