YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
