We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
