i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
