yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
