Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
