$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
