God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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