my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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