I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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