i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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