I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
