bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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