Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
