Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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