We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
