I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
