You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
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In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize