i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
