all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i think i just lost a toe
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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