do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
